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And maybe, simply perhaps you don’t need to date after a divorce.
Reflect with trusted, nonjudgmental pals, a coach or therapist, and/or by way of regular journaling, Muñoz suggests. “Work via the feelings that belong to your past relationship.” This is, partly, as a result of time it takes to totally transfer on. “Even when you’re glad the marriage is over, there are still losses to grieve that will not be self-evident,” she notes—the lack of belief in your individual romantic selections, for example. In this case, Muñoz says it is important to get clear on whether or not you are really prepared, and that takes time.
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My greatest worry was having a special boyfriend every Christmas. It was also my second divorce and I felt like I needed to regroup emotionally to determine out why I had made some bad or hasty choices with relationships. A lot of that was age—I was in my mid-twenties and I wished to exit and do what my girlfriends had been doing and date like them. My ex and I were separated, and I wanted to place the complete thing behind me.